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Lead Like a Chick Flick

 

Take thirty seconds and list your top five favorite movies. Now, compare your list to mine:
1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
3. Hoosiers
4. Slumdog Millionaire
5. Notting Hill

I’ve made confession. Did you catch it? #5. It is what it is. I’m 6’2″. Coach all of my sons little league teams. Eat meat topped with bacon. Dislike ballet and on occasion, enjoy a good chick flick. As someone who loves leading teams let me say…If you want to grow as a Team Leader, than you need to watch a good chick flick. What’s that now? Yes, chick flicks

Is there a greater skill for a leader to master than their ability to understand people? Chick flicks will help you do this. Download #5. Put on a comfy robe. Grab some tissue. Butter some popcorn. Get ready to take some notes. Here are three things chick flicks teach us about Team Leadership
1. Fate brought you together. Figure out why.

In every good chick flick there is a scene early in the film that rallies the hero to heroin and endears audience to story. It is the, meant to be scene. It ensures that the audience understands that this couple, although apart, must join together so that a.) the world will not blow up b.) the kingdom will survive c.) true love will prevail against all odds. This moment connects us to first to characters, then to story

The meant to be scene is uniquely important to Team Leadership. Your team must feel connected to you and then to your process. Remember the saying, ‘people don’t quit jobs, they quit people’? This is especially true for the Millennial generation that is filling up the workplace with relational expectations. Every team member, regardless of generation, needs to know that their placement on your team is meant to be.

Tell the story of their purpose to the team. Explain their role repeatedly. Make your team feel more important than end results. Get This: Chick Flicks are character driven, so are your teams. Good leaders gain loyal followers when they regularly engage their team in role, purpose and process discussions.
2. Expect conflict. Fight for the relationship.
There is always a pre-break up scene in every good chick flick. Before the hero and heroin commit their love to one another they end it. It usually sounds like a.) we are from different worlds b.) we are too young c.) I’m a vampire and you are not. This middle section of the movie propels story via conflict. It causes us to pick sides. More importantly, it causes us to root for the couple.
The hero exists to save, rescue and express his love at any cost. You are no different. Stop looking to them to make you feel better about yourself and step up to the humble task of relational leadership. Stop using language that expresses ego, fatigue and boredom. This scripting makes you seem disengaged from relationships.
Too many leaders assume that this is endearing because it gains temporary sentiment. It’s not. It’s weak. It causes pre-break up. No one likes a wimpy lead character. Like a chick flick hero, speak boldly to the story of your team. Declare your loyalty to them in days, months and years. Preach longevity. Get this: Employee’s trend short term these days. Still, focus on building long term loyalty that exists after employee turn over. Good leaders gain loyal followers when relationships are securely built over time.
3. Wear good shoes. There will be running.
There is a track meet at the end of every good chick flick. Running through a city. Running through an airport. Running through a field. Running. Running. Running. Here’s a short list to prove my point:
Notting Hill: running to a press junket.
Pretty Woman: running up a fire escape.
Sleepless in Seattle: Running to the Empire State building.
Titanic: Running off a ship.
Can you imagine the hero running away from the heroin while violins play the victory swoon? Never happens. Run towards and not away from as a leader. Be the definitive pursuer of your team in, around, and through barriers. This will endear you to your team.
Pursue them by making sure that everyone feels valid. Do this by creating an atmosphere of support through verbal communication. Allow patience. Get  this: You will do more slowly together, than quickly in isolation. Help your team express appreciation for each other. Good leaders know they are an effective relational leader when other department employee’s ask you if you have any needs in yours.
How are you doing as a relational leader?

Why I Trust 20 year olds w/ My Future.

In Marcus Buckingham’s book, Stand Out, there is a great tool that helps analyze your giftedness. My highest scores were as, Provider and Pioneer if you’re playing along. A Provider is someone who values the team and wants everyone to come along for the ride of leadership. No one gets left behind. A Provider would see great value in team leadership and want to give access to many voices. The Pioneer is someone who loves the challenge of doing new things or restructuring an old way to a new way of doing things. Combining those two types produces: Trailblazer. A friend in ministry called me, Daniel Boone. Maybe this is why I love shows like Deadliest Catch and Gold Rush. They are shows about team work and adventure. That could be a Gen M hashtag. #TeamworkAdventure. M’s are a great tool that most leaders over the age of 40 have yet to fully value. 

Here is part of what a Millennial can do in your organization. They can tell you whether you are being honest in your evaluation of yourself. Millennials have this uncanny knack at seeing truth for truth. They can spot a fake and sniff out the truth. If truth got buried in an avalanche we’d use Milliennial St. Bernard rescue dogs to sniff out a rescue. Are you engaged with Millennials on your leadership team? Here’s how you can lead them to help you lead your organization:

  1. Give them a true voice at the leadership table. You will feel scared that their lack of practical experience will derail you. Dismiss that feeling. Fear is never a good motivator. Instead, listen to the words they say and how they make you stick to topic and doctrine. They know a line when the hear it. Use them to help you know the same. Use them to help vocally challenge the norms.
  2. Let them dream about change out loud. Millennials want to change failing systems. Let them browse your systems and then allow them to dream about a new way of doing things. This will cause you to be scared. Dismiss that feeling. Fear is never a good motivator (yes, I said it again.). Instead, listen to what they dream about. I like hearing Gen M’s dream about the future church, since in fact, they are it.
  3. Ask them good questions that promote more questions. Gen M thrives in places that reek community. They leave places that don’t. Good questions create atmospheres that allow for community. The question, is the petri dish of community. We ask Gen M questions that help make us all think together through issues. Dont be afraid to ask hard and challenging questions (repeat that sentence about fear). Gen M’s see that as you valuing their place at the table. It makes them bonded to you and to the organization.
  4. Dont leave their decisions aside without telling them why. Biggest.Mistake.Ever. Gen M’s need to know if they are doing well or if they need to raise their game. To walk through the first three steps and leave this one out will destroy any community you thought you created. Why would you throw that away? Fear (repeat the sentence again). If the decisions don’t make sense for your Org let them know. It wont hurt their feelings. Instead it will energize them toward helping you solve another part of the process.  
  5. Take numbers 1 through 4 and apply it toward a personal friendship. It’s not time they are after, its you. They desire mentoring not coaching. Mentors don’t solve problems they help you solve problems. Coaches dictate who you could be if you followed their direction. Coaches win or lose. Mentors help you prepare for life after the game. Spend an early morning drinking coffee or a late night playing Call of Duty (preferably: MW3). Allow them to  see your life and speak into it. You will find that they speak into it with questions so that they will have answers to live their life. This is all about the team and the relationships within it.

Who are the Gen M’s on your team? How are you using them to help impact your organization? How are you using them to impact your own life? How are you creating community in your organization?

What Do You Need?

If you are a leader or participant in an organization or ministry its likely you think about what you have, and, what you need. One of the ways you know you are a leader is if you are able to see need. The response to meeting that need shows if you are an impassioned leader. The response of others to helping you meet that need shows if you are a followed leader.

In your ministry or organization ask yourself these three questions today:

  1. What is the need of my community?
  2. How can I help meet that need?
  3. Who shares this passion with me to meet that need?

So, what is the need you are trying to meet? Let us know. We’d like to help.

Lead. Follow. Dance?

Speaking at a leadership retreat for 6th graders…yep…6th graders. See also: Millennial’s are ready to lead now not later. The four points we made this week are:

1. Leaders see need.

2. Leaders work to meet need.

3. Leaders know, they don’t have to know it all. That’s why leaders lead teams.

4. Leaders rely on God to lead them so that they can lead others.

Here is one of the videos we used. You just have to watch this. Its a little  lesson in leadership….I think :)

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